Tips to Prepare You for Ukraine

The following tips are based on our experiences while in Ukraine. We are not experts. If you come to Odessa to adopt, you may have different experiences but, our list will at least help prepare you for your trip.

Cell Phone – we rented from Lonnie Rowland (Rowland Enterprises) travel@rowlandent.com or http://www.rowlandent.com/ The phone is delivered to you soon after arriving in Ukraine. At the time that we used the phone, our calls cost $0.20 per minute to call to the US. Handy for use to contact facilitator and other Americans that are in Ukraine. We also tried to use the cell phone to access the internet, but found it was too slow.

Internet – we used IPTelecom as our ISP in both Kiev and Odessa. To use IPTelecom you have to first purchase an internet card from a vendor on the street in either city. The card contains the telephone number that is used to make the dial-up connection. You also have to set up the network connection via Windows to access the IPTelecom telephone number. We did not need to use the dial-up service in Odessa very much because we had a high-speed cable connect at the apartment that we rented from Paul Becker. This was great!

Internet Cafes – Also referred to as, “Internet Clubs”. We only saw the inside of two cafes in downtown Odessa and both were in dark, smoke-filled basements, crowded with teenage kids playing games. The cost is cheap, only 1 Gryvna (.20 cents) for 20 minutes of use. The only issue was finding an open computer and the age of the machine (slow processing speed). But, it is good enough to send basic email if you have no other option. FYI, we could not open our blog at the café because it contained so many pictures.

Apartment – Please see the post on this blog titled, “Our Apartment in Odessa”

Airport VIP Service – We loved it. A representative meets you as soon as you get off the plane and escorts you through the customs process including, express service through waiting lines and guiding you through the custom forms (printed in Russian). When Paul visited Odessa last year, he went through the customs on his own. This can be a lengthy and uncertain process, especially if you don’t know the language or the culture. The cost for VIP service is $65 per person and we thought it worth every penny for the peace of mind and efficiency it offers. You may set it up through Rowland Enterprises, see contact info above.

Skype – Internet phone service. You can use it computer to computer for free or, computer to US phone for $0.17 per minute. If we tried to use Skype using dial up access, computer to computer, we found there to be a delay and/or echo. Also, when calling computer to computer, the machine you are calling has to be on and “open” (that is, someone needs to be waiting by the computer when you are trying to call). We called home every night using Skype or the cell phone (see above). Skype.com

Games – Card and board games are a great way to break the ice and get to know your new son or daughter. It also helps to pass the time. The games you choose will depend on the age of your child. Our favorites are; UNO, Tower (aka, Jenga), Sorry!, and Dominoes.

Books/DVDs – You will have some time on your hands, so don’t forget a novel or a couple movies. In an effort to pack light, we let both behind! We found English books at three different book stores in the city center. We borrowed a few movies from our American friends and played them on our laptop.

Normal schedule and rules – When you have your child living with you, it is tempting to lavish them with clothes, gifts, treats, eating out and sight seeing. This desire is only natural and certainly you have to provide your child what is necessary and have some fun along the way. However, a piece of advice we received was try to maintain your regular schedule and family rules as best you can while living in Ukraine. It is easy for kids in the orphanage to view America as a country where everyone is rich, the streets are paved in gold and you can have all the stuff you want. And, their new American moms and dads are simply walking ATM machines.

For example, we let Yuri choose video games in a store. Soon, he had his hands full of games to take to the check out counter. I said to him, “no, only two” and let him select which two he wanted to keep. Cost was not the issue but, setting a false expectation was. Also, we asked Yuri to do his part cleaning our apartment in Odessa. His job was to vaccum and take out the trash. We set time limits on his computer games and what programs he could watch on TV, just as we would at home.

The point is, while you are in Odessa, you are planting seeds and expectations that will be assumed at home. Your view point may be different than ours. Obviously, this is a big subject that has to do with the differences between living in an orphanage and a family structure, as well as, the differences between Ukrainian and American cultures.

Clothes – Pack light. Two pair of jeans and a pair of khaki pants (for court date) was all Paul needed. Don’t bring anything that needs to be ironed. You can wear a suit to court, if you desire, but it really isn’t necessary. We traveled in early spring so we had to be prepared for winter and spring temps. A few long sleeve shirts and t-shirts, one sweater and a sweat shirt. We did not buy anything for Yuri in advance as we were not sure of his sizes. We shopped for a few things for Yuri in Odessa but held off on most of our purchases until we get home. Clothes here are not cheap and styles that are acceptable in Odessa are different than what is “normal” back home.

220 adapters… Buy Round - You already know Europe uses 220 voltage outlets so, you will need an adaptor. We bought one in the US (flat-face style) and it did not work. The 220 wall outlets have a round, recessed cavity where the adapter or plug fits. The flat-face adapter did not reach into the recessed cavity. We bought our adaptors in Odessa. They have a round extension that fits into the recessed cavity of the wall outlet. If you purchase adaptors ahead of time, make sure they are “the round” kind.

Watch your step - Sidewalks are often broken, uneven or in various stages of construction or repair. There are all sorts of hazzards to step into or trip over if you are not constantly paying attention as you walk. Pigeons, stray dogs and cats leave their mark. It is acceptable and quite common for locals to spit on the side walks... as in every few meters. Wear comfortable shoes. You will do much more walking here than what you are accustom to in the US.

Food – Of course, you probably already know that you should not drink the tap water. Bottled water is plentiful in stores and restaurants. The average Ukrainian prefers soda water. If you prefer your water without bubbles, be sure to ask your waiter for “water-no gas” everyone knows what that means. In stores, look for bottles with light blue lids, this is kind of a code for “no gas”.

The average Ukrainian prefers tea, water and fruit juices over sodas so you will find those beverages in greater supply on the shelves. However, it is still easy to find soda. Coke, Sprite and occasionally Pepsi. The only “diet” soda we have found is “CokeLight” it tastes a lot like “Coke Zero” back home. If you are like us, you will find yourself lugging home 2 liter bottles of drinking water and soda to your apartment on almost a daily basis.

Ukrainians use dill in or one everything. They mix it in salads, they rub it on meat, sprinkle it over vegetables and bread. They also love mayonnaise and use it often in place of ketchup or salad dressing. They use it on french fries instead of ketchup or mix it directly into a salad. If you don’t care for mayo, be sure to ask for it on the side.

About Ketchup. In restaurants, you can order ketchup in packets. Be prepared to pay a little extra for it—this goes for McDonald’s too! Ketchup tastes a little different here than what we are used to the States. In one restaurant, we found ketchup to be referred to as, “Mexican Sauce”.

About salads. Ukrainians do not use green leaf or Romaine lettuce in their salads; we’ve only seen it used as a garnish. Here, a dinner salad usually consists of diced cucumber and tomato with perhaps a bit of ice berg lettuce or red pepper tossed in. If you must have your Ranch, Italian or French dressing, bring your own bottle, they do not have it here. Ukrainians also eat a variety of vegetable salads mixed with mayo and dill.

Fruits and vegetables can be very good here when they are in season. If you are coming in May/June, they tells us the strawberries and cherries are awesome!

For authentic, traditional Ukrainian food, “Kumanets” restaurant on “Gavanna” street in downtown Odessa is the place to go. The food is terrific and the menus are available in English. The wait staff wore traditional costumes and the walls are covered with art and crafts.

The following tips are not ours. They are those of a person who works as a volunteer in Ukraine. Based on our limited experience in Ukraine, we found these tips to be pretty accurate and helpful to our understanding of the culture. For the most part, these tips have been corroborated by other Americans we’ve met who have lived and worked in Ukraine for several years.

Tips for Americans Coming to Ukraine

I have had the benefit of a three month in-country training program to prepare me for the differences that I have encountered. In the notes below, I have tried to give you the highlights of my training and observations over the past 18 months. It is my hope to help get you geared up for your adventure—for that is certainly what it will be at times.

Cultural ConsiderationsPolychronic vs. Monochronic: This facet of Ukrainian culture causes Americans who work or do business here to go absolutely insane if they can't adjust. Ukrainians will almost always be 15-20 minutes late for an appointment. It is completely acceptable here. For events, expect them to start 30 minutes late. Another way that this polychromic nature is affecting and will further affect you is that Ukrainians don't make appointments more than one week in advance. It really doesn't matter how high up you go, it is rare to find a Ukrainian willing to solidly commit to a meeting a month out. They laughed at me when I suggested that we set up meetings for Kevin with the local city government last month. You would think that important people would have such busy schedules that they would have to budget their time. They are busy, but they don't schedule more than a couple of days in advance. So, while the conference is more or less set, meetings that you need to have with organizations and individuals will not happen until the week before. Sorry.

Collective vs. Individual: This society places far more value on the group than the individual. This difference becomes apparent to the American in a number of places. The most noticeable to you will likely be in the amount of personal space maintained between people, getting a solid commitment from someone, the way people think about business and competition, and how people treat the land.First, personal space will be immediately apparent to you. Ukrainians stand much closer to one another when they speak than most Americans. You will likely find people speaking to you at a distance that is just inside your comfort zone. Men, don't automatically assume that she likes you. It may just be the culture. If you are fortunate enough to ride the buses here, you will also experience a new level of closeness with strangers. Being pressed up against a stranger is not stressful for this culture. Second, this culture values saving face over confronting the truth. This will affect you when you ask a potential project partner if they can play a certain role or perform a particular task. Whether they can or not, they will always tell you "yes". You have to read between the lines and ask specific questions that don't require yes or no.Third, you will see vendors in the marketplace selling exactly the same types of fruits and vegetables right next to one another. If, one day, they don't have a particular item that you want, they will send you to the nearest competitor to get it. I have even had my produce lady tell me that her tomatoes were not very fresh. She recommended another vendor who had the best tomatoes that day. Heart warming in a way….Finally, visiting farms, primarily grazing lands, you will notice that farmers do not improve fields. Many pastures will be choked with weeds. This is because no one technically owns the land on which people allow their animals to graze. Farmers believe that if they make improvements to the land, someone with influence and money will come along and take it from them.

Gender Roles: It is sort of like 1940-50s in America. But, it will likely only affect your visit in the following ways:--It is important for men to shake hands with every man in a group. (Never shake hands through a door or entry way) --Ukrainian men will likely not offer to shake hands with women. So, ladies, don't be offended. Those Ukrainian men who have spent any time with me will shake hands with you because they understand the cultural difference.--Some men may not take the female presenters seriously.--Men will be asked what they think of the beautiful Ukrainian women.--Infidelity is acceptable for men and participated in by both genders. They don't perceive it the same as Americans do. You might encounter more flirting than you are comfortable with.

Fatalism: People here do not feel empowered to do anything. They believe that whatever happens will happen and they have no power to change it. The Orange Revolution was a huge step for this country but already people feel like it did no good because their lives are much like they were before the Revolution.This will affect those of you looking to do cooperative projects here. You may see an easy solution to a problem. Most Ukrainians will not believe that it will work here until they see it happen. You have to find the right people to work with and help them along until they see it does work.

Food and Drink: You would never know that Ukraine was a developing country from looking at the dinner table when guests are visiting. You will be treated to more food here than you can possibly consume. Ukrainians are very proud of their national dishes and their ability to provide for guests. They really roll out the red carpet when you visit their homes. If you have a chance to eat in a private home, you must know that to empty your plate is to ask for more food. The same goes for your glass. Alcohol is an integral part of life here. You will see beer, wine, and vodka in places that you won't see it in the States. It is normal to have a drink at almost any time of day if the reasons are right. Please be careful to understand that I don't mean getting drunk. Often Americans hear "have a drink" and they think "get drunk". While that does happen here, Ukrainians use alcohol in a symbolic way as well. To begin a business relationship, Ukrainians expect to have a toast over vodka. In the office at work, colleagues will toast to each other on birthdays. You will be offered alcohol here—no doubt about it. It is not necessary to drink if that is your policy. Let them fill your glass a little. Tell your host that you have a medical condition or religious conviction. Whatever you decide, be consistent. Don't refuse to drink on one occasion and let them see you drink in another. Most Ukrainian men would see this as a sign that you didn't think enough of them to drink with them. Women, you get the easy road out. Women aren't expected to knock them back with the men. They will still pour you a little.

Personal Appearance: This is much more important in Ukraine than most places in the States. Women wear more make-up and high heels, and men wear suits more often than in the States. Many women and girls here dress in a fashion that makes most Americans drop their jaws. Don't make assumptions about the women based on their clothes. It is normal and acceptable to see skin here.

Toilets: I apologize for the blunt nature of this category. I know it seems weird to have a line item for this, but it is shocking to Americans to see Ukrainian toilets. Most public restrooms, if they are available, are Turkish toilets (hole in the floor, sometimes plumbed, sometimes not). Bring some toilet paper or Kleenex and hand wipes.

Walking as a group in public: Particularly important in Kyiv, watch the volume level of your voice. The fact that you speak English makes your voice stand out. This also makes you a target in some places. Try not to walk as one ten-person group. People will know you are a foreigner before you ever say a word, but you can keep from being a target if you are quiet on the street and walk in groups of four or less. I have never had any problems. I feel very safe here, but as a rule, my husband and I don't speak English much in the street or on public transportation. It just draws attention to us that we would rather avoid.

Packing: Most important note: PACK LIGHTLY. Ukrainian infrastructure is not set up for door to door service. You may need to carry your luggage farther than you'd like. Clothes: First, you should know that many people here wear the same outfit many days in a row. You don't need to pack a shirt and pants for every day of the week. I would recommend that men wear khaki pants and dress shirts or polos, weather permitting. There is no expectation that you will wear a suit for this type of conference, but if you want to wear one, no one will find it strange. Women, it is your choice, obviously, I choose not to wear clothes or, more importantly, shoes like the women here. I stick out like a sore thumb, but I have been here long enough for people to get to know me. They may still think, "There goes that oddly dressed American woman." But they take me seriously, I think. Second most important note: PACK REALLY COMFORTABLE SHOES. You will walk more here that you can imagine and the sidewalks are not smooth when they exist.

Incidentals: -- The best piece of advice I was ever given was to never leave home without toilet paper. You may want to bring a roll from the States. Common toilet paper here is like crepe paper. --I also suggest you bring wet wipes. Soap is often lacking in the restrooms.--You need to bring a converter for blow dryers and razors. --You can buy a large assortment of hair and skin products here. --Carry money and your passport in an inside pocket or close to your body. Don't leave your wallet in your back pocket or carry a purse.--It is customary to give token gifts to your hosts (translators also). Last year, the group brought ball caps and T-shirts. Other things you might consider: bottle of American whiskey, a small picture book about your state, pens with logos, shot glasses with logos, maple syrup with pancake recipe, barbecue sauce with recipe, etc.--You can buy bottled water here. Make sure you tell your translator "without gas" for non-carbonated water. Don't drink tap water.

Traveling On the plane: I am sure that most of you know this already. Just in case…. Do your best to sleep on the plane. I have a terrible time getting any sort of rest in populated, cramped spaces, so I understand how this advice may sound. Do what you can, drink wine or take benedryl, sleep will help you adjust to the surroundings when you get here. Once you arrive in Ukraine stay awake until it is bedtime here. Your body will hate you for it, but it will lessen your chances of waking up at 2 a.m. and not being able to get back to sleep.

I realize that this was a rather long and drawn out set of tips. There are so many wonderful and interesting things to notice here. Try to keep an open mind about the cultural differences that you notice—it will keep your blood pressure down.The most important thing for you to do while you are here is relax and enjoy meeting people. Schedules will change at the last minute, people will ask you questions you can't answer, administrators won't show up when they said they would…be flexible.